I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
wow bdsm is so cute
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
