i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
