Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize