I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
