We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Randomize
