he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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