bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
