Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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