i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
