In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
