How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
