sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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