those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
