They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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