so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
