So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
