I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
