Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize