Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
accomplished twins. life is a go
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
