the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
