This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
