Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
