I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
