I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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