I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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