The maid of honor just puked.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dignity is for republicans.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Randomize
