addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
