YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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