Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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