There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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