is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
