areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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