Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
