There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
