Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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