guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
