i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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