I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
