I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
