what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
