The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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