id be glad to
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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