Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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