I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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