Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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