I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Randomize
