Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize