YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
