no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
