trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize