some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
