sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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