now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
