She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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