the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
