I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
